Without it, we would become helpless or mentally ill. Having no ego would be a disaster - we need something to mediate between our desires and our beliefs and values. However, the problem is not the beast itself, but the role it plays. The ego is you ‘ I-ness’ - it captures your thoughts, beliefs, memories, and emotions regardless if they are good or bad. Being self-centered or having a distortion of who we are, turns us into a victim of the illusory-self. Most people believe they know themselves, but less than 15% are genuinely self-aware. We Don’t Need Another Ego “The bigger a man’s head gets, the easier it is to fill his shoes.” - Henry A. Courtney The unhealthy ego is a fraud - don’t believe your illusory-self is true.
By pretending things always to go our way, we become bitter and frustrated. And feel disappointed pursuing endless ambitions, we end disappointed. By comparing ourselves to others, we create self-doubt. The paradox of the unhealthy ego is that, though it seems like a confidence-booster, it creates more harm. We judge what happens through a self-centered filter. We are self-absorbed - we make everything about “me-me-me!” We believe that everything revolves around us. Why is this person attacking me? Nobody listens to me! Why is this happening to me? Everyone wants to be with me. If someone criticizes that ‘perfect side,’ they take it personally - they feel their entire identity is at risk. People are willing to lie, kill, cheat, hide, or steal to protect their ego boundaries. You self-identify with a single aspect of yourself - preserving that perfect image becomes a life-or-death matter.īy wanting to keep our illusory-self happy, not only we place hope on an impossible goal but also harm ourselves and others. When you desire to be perceived as the smartest boss, the beloved mom, the best negotiator, the kindest woman, the funniest guy, the most creative writer - fill in the blanks - you allow your ego to take over. When you believe you are your ego, you’ll do anything to keep that illusion alive. Disguised as thoughts or feelings, your ego tricks you. The ego hides in the last place you will ever look: within itself. We let it hold the reins of our lives without any resistance. The illusory self is a seductive fantasy - that’s why we succumb to our ego. That’s why the ego is the worst confidence trickster: we end buying the exaggerated version of ourselves. However, our ego is a different thing - it magnifies either our best or worst side. We usually associate the word ‘ego’ with being arrogant, proud, or selfish. Our ego is a curious beast - most of us don’t realize its existence, yet we are under its mercy. The Ego Is a Fraud “The ego is the worst confidence trickster we could ever imagine.” - Dr.
The ego causes most of your suffering, but it can also save you from further pain. Your relationship with your ego can turn into either an enemy or an ally. We need it to mediate between the unconscious and the conscious. However, the ego is not the issue the illusion of self is.Īccording to psychologists, if we don’t have an ego, we would become mentally ill. That’s why we want to get rid of this enemy. We associate it to being entitled or arrogant. The ego has a bad rap - it has become the villain of self-help. The ego is not the problem – we turn it into our enemy